A Hilarious look at the always funny topic of taxes. 

Actually, as you might have expected, this story isnt funny at all, in fact, it is terribly annoying, because lets be honest, prostitutes work very fucking hard for their money.

They also do some very hard fucking for money.. Haha!

 Sorry.... here is the story.

http://metro.co.uk/2013/10/07/student-who-made-1000-a-night-as-high-class-escort-to-fund-masters-degree-ordered-to-pay-175000-in-tax-4137954/

For those of you who are work blocked and cant open links because you are wisely reading this blog instead of doing something infinitely less interesting, here is the story in a nutshell.

A student who made more than £300,000 as an escort to wealthy clients without paying a penny in tax has been ordered to hand over nearly £175,000 or face prison.

Donna Asutaits, who has already served a 16-month jail sentence for tax evasion, will be given another two-and-a-half years if she fails to produce the money.

The 30-year-old filed no tax returns while working as an escort as she studied for a master’s degree.

She earned £1,000 a night and was buying an apartment in Knightsbridge, central London, prosecutor Jonathan Polnay said.

‘This defendant was working for years as an escort and in that job she received significant sums,’ he told Southwark crown court.

‘The deposit on her flat on Brompton Road, of £110,000, was paid in cash by the defendant, so clearly that money was available as profit.’

Judge Peter Testar told Asutaits, who was watching from the public gallery, to pay £120,000 and £54,243 in court costs.

So there you have it, basically, the British government says that prostitution is illegal, but if they catch you doing it successfully, then you best pay that pimp Osbourne his muthafuckin money bitch!

I mean really, I' not saying that she shouldn't be punished in some way, and yes that should involve some form of money changing hands, but £175,000!? If she made 300k, you are talking about Alan Sugar style income tax payments, you know.. that whole, 40% tax rate plus 12.5% national insurance or whatever the fuck it is. What support did they give her? What help did she receive? How did they in any way contribute to her efforts? She used her initiative, set up her own business, and proceeded to work very hard, noshing old men off, and doing other disgusting things that no member of parliament would ever dream of doing.

Well, except maybe Peter Mandelson obviously.

Not that I am aware of the exact figure some who earns £300,000 a year usually pays in tax, because I am the son of a welder from Middlesbrough and I joined the military, which means I have always had about as much money as a Somalian shoe shine boy. Unless we are talking about a Somalian shoe shine boy who turns up in London of course, because according to the Daily Mail he will be given a £3 million house to live in, and a special book of coupons so he can take his 40 children into Waitrose and empty all the shelves without paying for anything. A bit like on Supermarket Sweep, but with 38 more contestants who are all malnourished and black.

But doesn't it leave a bit of a disgusting taste in your mouth? I always used to wonder why my grandad would always complain about everything when I was a teenager. He would sit and smoke heavily and say bad things about.. well.. absolutely everything, but particularly the government and the tax man. And in my naivety I used to argue with him and tell him that taxes were good because they get spent on sensible things like, schools, policemen, teachers, firemen, trains, roads, and everything else.

And lo and behold, fast forward 15 years and here I am, dripping my tits off and sounding just like my grandad, except 30 fucking years earlier than him.. I blame the internet and the steady unending source on information that I sift through every day.

 I've been trawling the news since I started writing a blog, and frankly, I'd rather pick my way through the bins outside a local wanking theatre.

 I'm taking one for the team here, theres no sense in us all reading them.

Here's the rub... the government don't spend the taxes on anything sensible! Now I understand these fiscal conservatives and these government cynics, because the morons that tax us don't spend said taxes on anything worth paying for. Seriously, pick up the paper and look where the collection of sleazy lawyers that make up our leaders spend our taxes, and I won't even mention paying for Mick Philpotts fags, booze, and petrol.

 Im talking about really really stupid shit, and even the public sector workers aren't proper public sector workers anymore. Under the Labour party they hired an extra million, thats right, a million, but they weren't the type of workers that spring to mind when you mention the Public Sector, things that people know you actually need, you know.. the old fashioned ones, like teachers and nurses and street sweepers. No, the recent employees are things like "sensitivity training officers" (Eh?!) and fucking "youth and community support organisers" or as I like to call them, ridiculous non-jobs to buy votes from people who know they have just been given a salary without having to actually do anything.

 And at least in the old days you got something back for your money, if the king took one of your 50 sacks of carrots as tax, you would something back, be it protection from raiders or an audience with him once a month, what the fuck do modern workers get off the government ever?

 Literally ever? Can you think of anything you were ever given for free? All they do is take, take take take. Every single thing I have ever asked them for I have had to pay for, think hard.... prescriptions? Pay. Parking? Pay. Need a copy of your birth certificate? Pay. Planning permission? Pay. Need a library card? Pay. Pay. Pay. Pay. I needed a police letter for a Visa, they didn't say "Oh you have paid taxes for 19 years and never ever took a penny from the system, have it for free" they said "£60 Please"

 I mean, at least they said please, but Id rather they said "£59 shit head"

And by the way, The Boston Tea party and the American Revolution apparently took place over a 2% tax.

 Yes, 2%.  Imagine what those lads would make of paying 25% income tax and 9% sales tax (California) on top for a cup of coffee. If George Washington had told Samuel Adams he would be getting stuck for 34% of his income when they started the fucking war, he would have physically shit himself in front of the bloke and then went cap in hand back to the King and asked him for a job.

I know I would have done, considering I would suck George Osborne off for a tax rebate. Although, this government would probably want to tax said tax rebate, because after all, the government pimp wants his money for prostitution work.....