Obviously it has been the biggest story of the past week, and some hostages are still trapped inside the centre. It may seem a little difficult to make light of such appalling and needless butchery, but still, you've got to laugh eh?
It seems almost childish to keep having a go at organised religion, its become the staple of comedians the world over. It's just become so easy to do that the game isn't really worth the candle anymore. A bit like having a game of darts with Muhammad Ali. Although, I wouldn't let him take his boxing gloves off either.. just to be sure.
Anyway, with that in mind, I'll leave the Muslims alone and pick on the politicians instead. Possibly just as easy a target, but I have to write something don't I? Unsurprisingly, after the awful killings of so many innocent civilians, the same tired, easily refuted crap was being spouted by the leaders of the free world. The first thing that David Cameron, Barack Obama, and every other politician tend to say after these things goes along such lines, and I'm quoting Mr Cameron here...
"When the perpetrators claim that they do it in the name of a religion, they don't they do it in the name of violence, and their warped view of the world, and they don't represent Muslims in Britain, or anywhere else in the world"
Did you get that?
They don't represent Muslims. What planet is he on? And what does he gain from ramming this down our throats? Its not like the Tories are going to get any Muslim votes while George Galloway is around is it? Couldn't he say something along the lines of
"The vast majority of Muslims aren't terrorists, but dogmatic belief in ancient desert scribblings is clearly providing a motive for these attacks"
No, according to Dave, and indeed, everybody else, they might pray to Allah, eat a halal breakfast, force their wives to walk down the street looking like a levitating letterbox, and chant "Allahu Akhbar!" while they hose people down with hot lead, but they don't represent Muslims.
Well who do they represent then? The Communication Workers Union? The largest conglomerate of Ice Cream Van Owners in the African Federation?
It's apt that I mentioned Ice Cream Vans, because Muslims could start a fucking fight at one.
A Mr Whippy Van could pull up in a street in Iraq and start offering free 99's to the locals, and someone would still end up getting bludgeoned to death. It would only take a perceived insult from someone who preferred the subtle tang of a Lemon Top, or perhaps a child asking for a chocolate wafer instead, and someone would wind up in a boiler suit.
And lets not even think of what would happen if any of the kids turned up carrying Peppa Pig.
Actually, that was a little insulting to Muslims. I'll balance it out by pointing out that every group which pays far too much attention to the desert God seems to be a negative force upon the earth. Some figures regarding the Catholic Church abuse scandal in the Republic of Ireland suggests that almost 1 in 3 people growing up at the height of the problem were abused by the clergy in some way, a truly staggering figure.
For those of you that struggle with maths, that basically means that If a priest didn't jam his fingers down your trousers personally, they probably went down your best mates drawers instead.
Joking aside, I hope that there are no more civilian casualties and I'll address the issue again on Friday, things should be done by then.
After all, I just saw a Kenyan soldier running into the building holding his rifle like a bag of laundry and wearing his body armor back to front, so it should be sorted out soon.
Actually.. fuck it, I might wait until Sunday...
No comments:
Post a Comment